RAR #45: 1/2 CHIEF POKE-IN-NOSE

One of the oddest titles for a Real American feature-- "1/2 Chief Poke-in-Nose" (like in "The Poconos," get it?) first appeared in JOKER COMICS #16. "Poke" is a little-kid Indian who talks modern talk, but all the alleged humor comes from his ignorant-injun dad Chief Sock-in-Nose. The art's better than BIG CHIEF WAHOO but the jokes are just as dumb/

MONSTER MASHUPS #53

 

Having celebrated the teaming of Marvel Comics' big ugly monsters from the early Silver Age in previous posts, it behooves me to include HULK ANNUAL #5, in which the heroic green goliath takes on six grotty grotesques from that period. One of them, the Living Titan, had already encountered the Hulk in a DEFENDERS story or two, and that was something of an in-joke, because in the year the Titan first appeared, his original name was-- the Hulk!

The other five critters had not encountered the Hulk before and probably not since, and like the cover says, they include smoke-monster Diablo, tree-creature Groot, mud-monster Taboo, generic space-alien Goom, and the electrical alien the Blip-- who was actually a benevolent fellow in his previous incarnation, something writer Len Wein evidently forgot. 

MONSTER MASHUPS #52

 From TALES FROM THE CRYPT #33 we get the story of two crazy monster-kids in love, two-headed Enoch and mummified cadaver Princess Myranah.

There was also a teleseries adaptation of the comics story, but I couldn't locate any good screenshots with both monsters in view.

RAR #44: THUNDERBIRD AND WARPATH

 Though Marvel's X-MEN will always be remembered for debuting one of the superhero genre's most memorable Black characters, the feature didn't have as much luck with Real Americans.

Apache John Proudstar, a.k.a. Thunderbird, debuted with the other new X-heroes in GIANT SIZE X-MEN #1. Yet he was at base a forgettable character, distinguished only by a cool Dave Cockrum costume. He was nothing more than an "angry young brave," and when the editors realized that his character was not much different from Wolverine's, they killed him off in his second adventure. In death he was more impressive than in life, since his demise furnished the fledgling feature with a great deal of enjoyable angst.

Much later, the NEW MUTANTS title revealed that John had a brother named James, and he had roughly the same mutant powers as his late sibling. He hung out with the White Queen's mutant-student group The Hellions for a time, and at some point donned a reasonable facsimile of his brothers's outfit. Still later, he changed his name to Warpath, but my general impression is that in none of his identities did he compel much interest from creators or from fans.

RAR #43: MIRAGE

The character of Cheyenne superhero Danielle Moonstar-- first given the code name of "Psyche," and later the slightly better "Mirage"-- was like the rest of her "New Mutant" teammates; modestly entertaining but never especially compelling. She was one of the team's two co-leaders at a time when it still wasn't common for female characters to lead super-teams, but I've rarely heard Mirage held up as a groundbreaker.

Though her character appears in the 2020 NEW MUTANTS movie, her best outing is probably in NEW MUTANTS #41, a solo story devoted to her encounter with a cowboy-styled emissary of Death.

However, I could've done without those versions of her costume where she sports a silly little feather from her headband.

MONSTER MASHUPS #51

 

"The Pharaoh's Zoo" is an almost completely forgotten story from BORIS KARLOFF'S TALES OF MYSTERY #65 (1975). In it, two archaeologists find the dead-alive bodies of three ancient creatures stuck in an Egyptian sphinx-- though none of them are sphinxes. Instead we get a phoenix, a Cerebrus and an "Egyptian cat-woman."

RAR #42: THE RED MAN and MANTOKA

Here's the first of two obscure Native American heroes, both of whom had just two Golden Age adventures. In both cases, online reprints carry just one of those two adventures, but not the other.

In the case of "the Red Man"-- the strip's full title being "The Red Man of the Rockies"-- he may have had an origin in his first appearance, but in his second and last appearance in Centaur's FUNNY PAGES, he just roams around solving white people's problems with his ambiguous powers, which include the making of rain, as shown here. If he had any other name, it's not shown herein.

Much more salutary is MANTOKA, MASTER OF INDIAN MAGIC, by the renowned artist Jack Cole. Cole created a sort of "Indian Spectre" who could do almost anything with his magic, and who is seen in his first story defending his people from evil white exploiters. The opening page, in which Mantoka symbolically "dies" to gain magical power, is better than the rest of the story. Given that a little later Cole would concoct the oddball and somewhat offensive Indian villain Great Warrior, the mere existence of Mantoka indicates that the artist wasn't totally insensitive to the plight of the "red man."

MONSTER MASHUPS #50

In SALLY FORTH #4-- a reprint of Wally Wood material from some previous decade-- the often-bare naked lady comes across a castle where she meets various classic movie monsters.

There's the Frankensteinian butler, Jeeves.

Then there's an unnamed bandage-victim:

Then there's a vampire whose name makes "Count Chocula" sound classy.

And finally, there's a werewolf and a Guy with a Hairy Paw:

MONSTER MASHUPS #49

"Bat's Tail" spins a short three-page tale of a human victim captured by winged vampires for food. Throughout the vampires keep nattering about a fearsome "beast-man," so guess who the innocent-looking human turns out to be?

Nice Russ Heath art and a predictable Stan Lee "gotcha" script, but this tale is one of the few times a werewolf is seen being the scourge of a whole group of vampires.

RAR #41: BLACK BISON

I recently reread the first appearance of the supervillain Black Bison in the FIRESTORM comic, and he seems as boring now as he did then: just another of Gerry Conway's poorly conceived eco-terrorist bad guys. I don't think anyone ever made anything of the 20th century character, though his 19th-century ancestor appeared to good effect in a Rick Veitch SWAMP THING continuity.

MONSTER MASHUPS #48

SPOILERS, but-- here's the big surprise in SUPER FRIENDS #10: a bunch of aliens who look like classic monsters are actually-- superheroes!

MONSTER MASHUPS #47

The cover to 1964's CREEPY #7 looks like it's going to invoke the standard images of vampire vs. werewolf in a big fight:

However, even the title of the interior story, "Duel of the Monsters," is a cheat, since it's just another extended EC-style joke tale, taking place in medieval Spain for a change of pace. SPOILERS before anyone reads the big reveal below.

ANTI-MASHUPS (-3)

Just screened the 1964 FLINTSTONES episode "The Gruesomes," and decided that this one does not meet my standards for a mashup. The three members of the Gruesome Family-- pretty transparently modeled on the Addams clan-- are all the same sort of green-skinned freakazoids, so they all belong to the same species of whatever-they-are, unlike, say, the Munsters.

The family does have a menagerie of monsters-- "crocosauruses," octopi, a killer plant, and even a couple of giant furry hands that may or may not have hairy bodies attached. But all of these are just various types of animal, not monsters, and so they don't register, any more than the various fauna of Skull Island register as distinct from the monsterhood of King Kong.

MONSTER MASHUPS #46

NEAL ADAMS MONSTERS (2004), according to the author's preface, is all about having his versions of the three major movie-monsters-- Dracula, the Wolf Man (in this case, a Wolf-Woman), and the Frankenstein Monster-- come together for a big battle not restrained by live-action cinema considerations.

The result is far from being the best monster-battle ever, even within the comics-medium, but it's a decent read if one doesn't expect too much.

MONSTER MASHUPS #45

I'd largely forgot this 1979 short-- broadcast as THE HALLOWEEN THAT ALMOST WASN'T, and retitled on VHS as THE NIGHT DRACULA SAVED THE WORLD-- prior to stumbling across it on Youtube.

Since I saw it in my twenties, HALLOWEEN was a little sophomoric for my tastes then, particularly with a jarring SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER joke at the end. But compared to some monster mashes-- particularly the 2000 animated feature MONSTER MASH-- at least HALLOWEEN "stakes" (ouch) out its daffy slapstick territory and doesn't venture outside those borders.

The short starts with Dracula (Judd Hirsch) calling a convocation of monsters in response to a televised rumor that 1979 may be the first year without a Halloween. The ghouls all come to his humble abode, including a "Frankenstein Creature," a mummy, Warren the Werewolf, a zombie called Zabarr, and a witch (Mariette Hartley). On top of that, Dracula has borrowed a page from the Universal Studios book by employing a hunchbacked servant named Igor, who in this context I would not consider a true "monster." But it hardly matters, since only two monsters get to do very much, beyond setting up jokes.

Dracula briefly considers the possibility that his favorite holiday may be doomed because humankind no longer fears him or his kindred. But instead of running this idea into the ground, as MONSTER MASH does, the short flick dumps that notion and reveals that the Witch is the true threat to Halloween. Seems she resents both Dracula's sovereignty over the creatures of the night, and the fact that people don't like ugly chicks. Dracula tries various strategies to bend the sorceress to his will, but in the end only the pleas of cute children ensure that Halloween goes on.

As long as one has a sizable appetite for borscht-belt jokes and Judd Hirsch's Lugosi accent, HALLOWEEN is at least passable. There's an odd moment in which the Witch defends herself from her enemies by bringing the Three Musketeers to life. I assume the production just ran out of monster costumes and borrowed some studio's musketeer outfits to save a buck.

MONSTER MASHUPS #44

Added a review for two of Hanna-Barbera's ventures into monster rallies, THE FLINTSTONES MEET ROCKULA AND FRANKENSTONE (1979), THE FLINTSTONE'S NEW NEIGHBORS (1980)

MONSTER MASHUPS #43

Here's a link to today's review of the 1968 compilation-of-shorts THE LEMON GROVE KIDS MEET THE MONSTERS.

This low-budget curio just barely makes it into my mashup-category. One of the shorts includes both a mummy and a rampaging gorilla, but as things turn out, they're both actors in costumes, which removes them from consideration.

The only reason that this LEMON qualifies depends on one's willingness to view aliens as "monsters." The middle short includes a "Grasshopper Man" and a "Vampire Lady" who are apparently both from outer space according to the short's title, but who don't look like they belong to the same species, in contrast to almost every other alien-invasion flick ever made.

So, purely based on the suggestion that two breeds of aliens come calling on Earth, I give LEMON "mashup status."

SUPERHEROES ARE DAMN-NEAR EVERYWHERE #309

Secondary ANN DORAN acted in two episodes of THE LONE RANGER with--

Primary JAY SILVERHEELS as TONTO.

_________

Secondary STEPHEN DORFF acted in BLADE with--

Primary WESLEY SNIPES as BLADE.

_____

Primary MICHAEL DORN played WORF on two STAR TREK teleseries and some of the movies.

_______

Tertiary DIANA DORS acted in an episode of (the British) THRILLER with--

Secondary ANDREA MARCOVICCI, who also acted in SPACEHUNTER with--

Primary PETER STRAUSS as WOLFF.

_____________

Secondary FIFI D'ORSAY acted in NABONGA with--

Primary RAY CORRIGAN as NABONGA.

___________

Secondary ROY DOTRICE played "Zeus" in HERCULES THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS with--

Primary KEVIN SORBO as HERCULES.

 

SUPERHEROES ARE DAMN-NEAR EVERYWHERE #308

Tertiary KING DONOVAN acted in THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS with--

Primary LEE VAN CLEEF, who played JOHN PETER MCALLISTER in THE MASTER.

________

Primary TATE DONOVAN voiced HERCULES in the Disney film and TV show.

__________________


Secondary ALISON DOODY acted in INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE with--

Primary HARRISON FORD as INDIANA JONES.

___________

Secondary JAMES DOOHAN acted in JASON OF STAR COMMAND with--

Primary CRAIG LITTLER as JASON.

_______

Secondary PAUL DOOLEY acted in episodes of STAR TREK DEEP SPACE NINE with--

Primary RENE AUBERJONOIS as ODO.

___________

Tertiary LUCINDA DOOLING  acted in THE ALCHEMIST with--

Primary ROBERT GINTY, who played THE RIDER in WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD.

__________

Secondary KARIN DOR acted in THE INVISIBLE DOCTOR MABUSE with--

Primary WOLFGANG PRIESS as DOCTOR MABUSE.

SUPERHEROES ARE DAMN-NEAR EVERYWHERE #307

Secondary ELINOR DONAHUE voiced a female monster in an episode of BIKER MICE FROM MARS with--

Primary DORIAN HAREWOOD, voicing MODO.

_____________

Secondary TROY DONAHUE acted in OMEGA COP with--

Primary RON MARCHINI as JOHN TRAVIS.

_______

Secondary PETER DONAT acted in episodes of TIME TRAX with--

Primary DALE MIDKIFF as DARIEN LAMBERT.

___________

Tertiary ROBERT DONAT acted in THE GHOST GOES WEST with--

Tertiary JEAN PARKER, who was in DEAD MAN'S EYES with--

Primary PAUL KELLY, who played THE BLACK COMMANDO in THE SECRET CODE.

________

Tertiary YOLANDE DONLAN acted in MISTER DRAKE'S DUCK with--

Primary DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS JR, who was also MARIO FRANCHI in THE CORSICAN BROTHERS.

_________

Tertiary BRIAN DONLEVY acted in HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI with--

Tertiary JOHN ASHLEY, who also acts in BEYOND ATLANTIS with--

Primary PATRICK WAYNE, who was also BEN MCBRIDE in THE PEOPLE THAT TIME FORGOT.

_____

Secondary VINCENT D'ONOFRIO played "the Kingpin" on DAREDEVIL with--

Primary CHARLIE COX as DAREDEVIL.

______

Secondary AMANDA DONOHUE acted in STARSHIP TROOPERS 3 with--

Primary JOLENE BLALOCK as LOLA BECK.